My Happiness Mission

The Pursuit of Happiness

To live, laugh, love and cry with the mindset that ALL experiences are, or can be, part of a productive, meaningful and enjoyable life.

To share my experiences in the pursuit of my happiness so that others may also benefit.

I vow to relax my grip on the outcome and to celebrate the journey, wherever it takes me.

The above was written after reading "Being Happy - you don't have to have a perfect life to lead a richer, happier life" (Tal Ben-Shahar).

Much of the book focuses on the differences between perfectionists and optimalists and it demonstrates quite clearly and convincingly that the latter group actually achieve more than those who aim for perfection and either:

• Never start because you can't fail what you don't attempt.... or, 
• Achieve great things and then aren't happy with or despite them

I'd never thought of myself as a perfectionist but I identified with many of the characteristics.  See how you stack up.

Perfectionists have been described as "those whose standards are high beyond reach or reason, people who strain compulsively and unremittingly toward impossible goals and who measure their own worth entirely in terms of productivity and accomplishment" (David Burns, 1980)

Now compare this with Optimalism.  Optimal is defined as the "best, most favourable, especially under a particular set of circumstances."   In finding the optimal Optimalists acknowledge the constraints of reality, that there are inherent limitations in being human and that we must all make trade-offs in life.

Perfectionists reject failure, Optimalists accept it and recognise that it's a natural part of life and the experience is directly linked to success.  Perfectionists expect their path through life to be direct, smooth and trouble free.  Optimalists know differently, that there will be setbacks, failures, disappointments and more.  There ability to rationalise these as part of a normal (real) experience sets them apart from their counterparts and means that while disappointing, these experiences (or the avoidance of them) are not debilitating, limiting and stifling.

Till next time,

Be Happy.