Near enough.... is it good enough?

I've been in a difficult spot for the past few days, and am feeling less than inspired about all things life.  I've run out of work till early in the new year.  I've been sick and feeling miserable.  My diet, has slipped and I've been eating all kinds of crap.  I'm changing my training around and the days without doing any exercise are quickly adding up.  The weather has been wet and not very conducive to outdoors activity.

All of these things are critical ingredients in a happy, positive life.  Diet, food, stress mgt, meaningful activities (work), good health so it's no wonder I'm not feeling great.  

I asked my partner a question the other day.  I get it that your mindset is a choice you make in order to shift how you feel about a situation in order to change what you do about it.  Think - Feel - Do.  I get it.  The question was "How do you force the shift?"  A kind reader suggested it's not a case of 'tricking' your mind,  but rather the act of applying the alternate mindset to the situation.  I thought I'd give that a go.

Here's what I did.  

1. Recognised that flat, despondent emotions or emotional state is a normal part of life and gave myself permission to feel them (perfectionists reject these emotions and in doing so, hold more firmly to them AND judge themselves for having had them in the first place... Lose/Lose).
2. Looked for an alternative way of thinking about the situation.  To do this I pretended I was talking to someone else who just happened to be in my situation (it's funny, you often give others advice and guidance you wouldn't give yourself AND you sometimes see things differently when you remove yourself from the equation).
3. Made two lists - one was the perfectionists viewpoint, the other was the optimalists (I'll share these lists in a second)
4. Went about implementing a 'near enough' idea

So what this actually looked like for me was as follows:

1. "I'm feeling shit because I've not been exercising, and I'll never be as fit as I was and, and, and...."  That's ok Sean.  It's normal to go through ups and downs.  Accept the emotion for what it is and move on.  
2. Initial View:  "It's all gone to shit.  I'm getting fat, Christmas is coming, I should've kept up my training..... " Alternate View:  No wonder you feel bad Sean, look at your current situation.  That's ok though mate, you're only a couple of sessions away from feeling great again and yeah, the first one is going to hurt.  But don't they all hurt?  And don't you actually like that?

Here are my lists as they relate to the above situation

Perfectionist:

• I need to go on a strict diet with one cheat meal per week - rigid restriction.
• No alcohol
• I'll do crossfit 5 x per week starting immediately
• Swim 2-3 times per week 
• Casual MTB or Road Bike ride each weekend

Optimalist:

• Try to get along to 3 crossfit sessions/week until I get a feel for it and my body get's used to the different movements
• Do at least one swim each week, even if it's just doing some cruisy laps with the pullboy
• Get on the bike at least once each fortnight, weather permitting

Which list do you think is going to work better for me?  As I read them I still struggle to let go of my perfectionist tendancies.  I want the first list.  Thats where I'd like to be.  Problem is, now is a very difficult time of year to go on a strict diet and to avoid alcohol.  Nor will I want to avoid those things (causing conflict).  Also, I changed my training focus because I didn't have enough time AND I was carrying small but persistent injuries.  And Whammo!  I replace 7-10 sessions a week with 9.   So lets assume I opt for list 1.  Chances are that I won't be able to do 5 crossfit sessions in my first ever week of doing it (I did my first workout last week just prior to getting sick and I was sore for 5 days!!!).  Because of my time restrictions it's highly unlikely that I'll be able to train twice a day for a few weeks anyway, so the swims would pretty much all fall over and my weekends have been very social (and wet) so riding bikes is unlikely too.  

So, imagine how that would make me feel?  Yup, like crap.

I'm going to try list 2 and see what happens.  I'll let you know.

Here's one quick example of how my different thinking is slowly shifting some of my behaviour.

Saturday arvo - been threatening rain all day.  Dog needs a walk.  Sean desperately needs some exercise.  BTW - regular exercise has so far proven to be the one absolute essential in my mental and stress management.  Funny thing is, the more I actually need to do some exercise, the less likely I am to seek it out.  A couple of days of decadent eating, drinking and no exercise and it's the last thing I'm likely to want to do, despite so desperately needing it.  I'm getting better at recognising this and just getting out there.  Letting go of the idea that every session has to be a PB too.  That's helping.  So anyway.  Decided that if it rained I'd take the dog out and we'd go for a cruisy run and enjoy the puddles (he loves the water). 

Well it didn't just rain, it pissed down.  So much so that people were coming outside to watch the rain and they all got a good giggle when they saw me dragging my very reluctant dog outside in the biggest downpour we've had in awhile.  He really didn't want to be outside.  A couple of guys in a truck even took the trouble to roll down there window and laugh at me as they drove past.  

Anyway, the dog soon got into it and was leaping in puddles and sniffing wet smelly things with abandon.  Because it was wet, it was cool and there was no-one on the bike paths so I could let Buddy off the lead which he loves.  It turned out to be one of the more enjoyable runs I've had in a long time.  Go figure.

So.  The exercise was the two lists.  Making a perfectionists list and a 'near enough' list and trying to implement that instead.  I'll report back but the theory suggests that with my near enough list I'm more likely to get some traction and 'get into action' which in turn may actually snowball and take me closer to the first list with less stress and more enjoyment.  And if it doesn't, it doesn't really matter.  At least I'm doing something.

Here's the activity as I read it.  The process is about compromise between the different priority areas of your life so as to not take too much on and get overloaded.  I varied it a little to suit my situation but I think it worked.

Make a list of the important areas in your life (I focused on one area).  Try categories such as professional, family, romantic, friends, health, travel, hobby, finances etc.  First note under each category what you would ideally like to do and how much time you would ideally like to spend.  Then, for each category distinguish between the part that you can give up and the part you see as indispensable.  Write down the indispensable activities under your good enough list.  For example, under work your ideal might be 60 hours a week.  Given the other constraints and desires, that may not be realistic.  Good enough for you might be 40 hours a week.  Here's what those lists look like for me.

Category	Ideal (Perfect)	Good Enough (Optimal)
Work	60 hrs / week	40 hrs / week
Friends	Daily get togethers	Once a week catch up
Exercise	1 Session every day	3 - 5 / week

Till next time, 

Stay Happy.

ps.  the discipline of writing this blog is really helping to clarify my thinking on the topic so thanks for listening.  I'll share the theories on reflective writing later on but so far it's helping me AND it's not feeling like a huge amount of work.